As followers of Christ, we often strive to reflect Him in our actions and words. However, the Holy Spirit recently revealed something essential: following Jesus isn’t just about imitating His actions, but understanding what set Him apart—His unshakeable faith rooted in a deep relationship with the Father. Without this foundation of faith, we risk focusing more on outward appearances or rituals than on the genuine love and grace that transformed lives through Him.
It’s easy to feel pressured to appear flawless in our faith. Yet, when we look at Jesus, we see that He didn’t call for perfection. Instead, He called for belief, trust, and a willingness to walk in love. When He addressed sin, His purpose wasn’t to shame or condemn but to restore and transform, always leading people back to God.
In our own lives, focusing on surface-level issues or judging others by their outward struggles comes naturally. However, Jesus’ interactions show us something different. For example, when a paralyzed man was brought to Him, Jesus didn’t immediately address the visible issue. Instead, He spoke words of forgiveness, knowing that spiritual restoration was the man’s deepest need. Later, He faced criticism for dining with tax collectors and “sinners.” His response was clear: just as a doctor comes for the sick, His mission was to reach those who knew they needed help. His focus remained on faith and healing, not on judgment and appearances (Matthew 9:1-12).
Jesus’ unshakeable faith naturally overflowed into a love that didn’t seek perfection in others but offered compassion and grace. Although Jesus was perfect, He never looked down on those around Him. Instead, He met people where they were, extending love and understanding. His example sets the standard for our relationships and daily interactions.
For a long time, rejection made me believe that I had to be perfect to be accepted—by God or others. I worked hard to meet what I thought were people’s expectations, fearing that my flaws or struggles made me unworthy of God’s love. The memory of being rejected by the very people I trusted to guide me taught me to question my worth, leading me down a path of striving for perfection instead of leaning on grace.
Over time, I began to realize that God wasn’t demanding perfection from me. He was extending an invitation to rest in His grace, assuring me that His love was constant—even when I felt completely inadequate or overwhelmed by my mistakes. One of the most profound moments in my journey came when I was at my lowest—overwhelmed by doubt and weighed down by past mistakes. I remember feeling distant and unworthy of grace. In that moment of brokenness, I felt God’s presence like a warm embrace, reminding me that His love wasn’t dependent on my efforts or accomplishments. It was a love that met me right where I was, flaws and all.
There have been times when, in sharing my own struggles with anxiety, depression, or fear, I’ve heard responses like, “God didn’t give you that,” or “You just need to pray and give it to God.” While these statements may be well-meaning, they can unintentionally create feelings of isolation or guilt. They suggest that struggling with something that “didn’t come from God” is almost a sin in itself.
I’ve come to realize that people sometimes respond this way because they see themselves more like Jesus in the Gospel stories—acting as the one with all the answers—rather than identifying with the sinner in need of grace. When we focus on being the one who has all the answers or the one bringing change, we risk missing the compassion Jesus extended to those struggling. Jesus didn’t condemn or dismiss those who were suffering. Instead, He met them with compassion, acknowledging their pain and offering grace. As followers of Christ, we are called to do the same—approaching others not as judges, but as people who also need grace.
When we fail to see ourselves as people who also need grace, empathy can become secondary to giving advice. This approach often leaves those who are hurting feeling like their struggles are not only misunderstood but also judged.
Scripture shows a different way to respond. In Romans 12:15, Paul urges believers to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This call to empathize goes beyond offering solutions—it’s about sharing in another person’s experience without rushing to fix it. Galatians 6:2 also calls us to “carry each other’s burdens,” highlighting the importance of compassionate support. During times of struggle, it’s not always about having the perfect answer, but about being present and gentle with those who are hurting. In moments of struggle, our role is not to stand apart as the one who has it all together but to walk alongside others, offering the same grace that we have received.
Reflecting on my experiences with rejection, I’ve seen how easily people are condemned rather than convicted in the church. Judgment and rejection leave people feeling cast out instead of drawn in with love and understanding. There’s a crucial difference between condemnation and conviction, and recognizing it can reshape how we engage with others.
Condemnation drives a wedge between people and God, leading to feelings of shame and distance. This approach often comes from misinterpreted scripture, leading people to believe that calling out every flaw is necessary. In reality, it creates harm. Jesus made it clear that His mission was not to condemn but to save and restore (John 3:17).
Conviction, on the other hand, opens the door to transformation by inviting change through compassion and hope. When Jesus addressed sin, His intention was to guide people towards change with compassion, allowing space for repentance. This kindness isn’t meant to excuse wrongdoing but to encourage genuine growth and a restored relationship with God (Romans 2:4).
We are in times where God is calling us to come together in seeking Him. Yet, the message society often pushes is one of selfishness and division. This is evident in how boundaries are sometimes interpreted as shutting people out rather than protecting both parties, in meeting people’s energy when feeling slighted, and in cutting people off without considering that separation might only need to be temporary. Judging and calling people out simply because we can has become normalized.
These attitudes create barriers instead of building bridges. They contradict the call to love and lead with grace. Jesus’ way wasn’t about pushing people away but drawing them in, even when it was difficult. God invites us to resist the pull toward selfishness and judgment and reflect His love through compassion and understanding. We are called to be a community that lifts one another up, encouraging healing and transformation instead of isolation.
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s expressed in our actions. Love requires choosing kindness, even when it’s not easy. It’s about being patient, choosing not to dishonor others, and extending forgiveness as we have been forgiven (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Our relationships should reflect this, as love, not judgment, forms the cornerstone of our faith.
Boundaries are essential in maintaining love and respect in relationships. Sometimes, they are necessary to protect ourselves and allow us to see what God is showing us. At other times, boundaries need to be set to protect others and give them the space to see what God wants to reveal to them (Proverbs 4:23, Galatians 6:2-5). Establishing healthy boundaries is not about isolation, but about fostering growth and understanding in relationships.
Forgiveness has been a key part of my journey. It has allowed me to open myself up to the community I need to support me in different areas of my life. Holding onto bitterness or judgment can create walls, but forgiveness breaks them down and makes room for meaningful connections. Scripture reminds us that bearing with one another and forgiving is the path to unity and love (Colossians 3:13-14). Being in a community where forgiveness and grace are prioritized brings healing and growth in a way isolation never can (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
As we navigate this journey of faith, let’s remember that love is our foundation—love for God, for ourselves, and for others. In a world that’s quick to condemn, let’s commit to offering the same grace and compassion that Christ extends to us. This is what truly sets us apart as His followers.
Walking in love and grace means recognizing that none of us have fully “arrived.” It means extending to others the same grace that God has given us. Our goal isn’t to judge or condemn, but to lift one another up, encouraging growth and transformation through love.
When someone shares a struggle, listen fully before giving advice, and reflect on how you can “mourn with those who mourn” and “carry each other’s burdens” (Romans 12:15, Galatians 6:2). In moments of frustration or hurt, pause and ask yourself, “How can I respond in a way that reflects God’s love and patience?” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). When setting healthy boundaries, seek wisdom to determine if a boundary is meant to protect and allow healing rather than creating permanent distance (Proverbs 4:23). And when someone falls short, remember that condemnation pushes away, while conviction through kindness leads to change (Romans 2:4).
Scripture References
- Matthew 9:1-12 – Jesus’ healing and reaching out to the marginalized.
- John 3:17 – A mission to save, not condemn.
- Romans 2:4 – Kindness leading to repentance.
- Romans 12:15 – Empathy in joy and suffering.
- Galatians 6:2 – Carrying each other’s burdens.
- Proverbs 4:23 – Guarding your heart.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – The characteristics of love.
- Colossians 3:13-14 – Forgiving and building unity.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – The value of community and support.
- John 8:7 – Responding with compassion.
- Matthew 6:14-15 – The importance of forgiveness.
Writings on My Heart 